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The new New Zealand?

The Archive of posts

Old posts from the original Blackframes site

The new New Zealand?

Lach Ryan

kiwi bird fruit

Australia is a popular choice for immigration. People have been coming here, welcomed or not, for thousands of years. Much is said of the so-called boat people. Much to my dissapointment, they aren't actually shaped like boats. If they were Boat-like in structure, then I feel both the Government and general public would be more open to them contributing to contemporary Australian culture or our Navy. But as they are normal human shaped, then Aussies arent keen on the 9,000+ of them sneaking onto our land each year. The 53,000+ New Zealanders though? Apparently that's OK. Well not in my immigration book, Bro. It feels like decent, hard working Aussies can no longer get jobs as Barista's, Arts Administrators or Outdoor Educators because of bloody Kiwi refugees.Why would someone need to be a refugee from a lush green land, perpetually covered in clouds and sheep? It sounds idyllic, like living in a kid's picture book. Apparently there is no work or culture there...or anything like the Gold Coast (See: the best thing on Australian TV- The GC) So Kiwis are forced to take advantage of a free trade agreement between our 2 countries. We get Crowded House's music and Russel Crowe, and they get to stay on this country's couch as long as they want.Well I say long enough! It's time to fold up the futon of friendship and send them back to where they came from!

I have many friends and colleagues who are Kiwi's (which on reflection is probably denying some deserved Aussies from those roles) but we cannot play favorites. If we don't round them up like the sheep they are, sooner or later there will be no national differentiation. Already, there are moves to acknowledge Melbourne as the West Island, and a certain part of Brunswick is now known as Little Auckland where you can buy bootleg Shihad CD's at any hour of the day.

The only solution is we finally absorb NZ as the 7th state it really is, before all 4.4 Million of Rugby loving, knitted pullover, jandal wearing  trans-Tasman terrors whale ride their way to Canberra and total social domination. Then we'll be wide open to the Penguins...