Dear Melbourne Something happened this week that I need you to know about.
I want you to know upfront that I've been feeling this way for a little while now. Things haven't been great between us lately. I'm seriously concerned about lifestyle costs, then you go and flare it all up with that whole "most livable city" stuff again!
I need a break.
A work thing came up and I had to get out of town. I didn't tell you too much about it because I knew you'd overreact. But now I need too.
Last Wednesday I spent the night with Sydney.
I'm as surprised as you. The first few times we met I couldn't stand her. But this time something was different and we just kind of clicked. For starters she was more open and available, like she has an Airport Rail link! I know you keep talking about getting one, but I dont know how much longer I can wait?!
You should have seen the weather. I was a better man because of it. Sun! Remember that? In the early days things were more exciting and you used to show me sun all the time. Lately the best you can manage is a quick peak in between showers. Sydney is just so hot, and I have to confess...it warms my blood.
The other thing is the water. You know how I have a thing for civilizations built on substantial bodies of water. I can tell you that body of water is far more substantial than your murky bays. Her twin attractions were glimmering and practically inviting me to visit them! How can you compete with that? Two world class icons in the Bridge and Opera House and all you can manage is the MCG. You know, not everyone cares about sport!
Her people are chirpy. She has friends from all over the world visiting. They pronounce her name right. Do you know how annoying it is to hang out with your uber hip friends, always looking for that next thing that is so uncool, it may actually be cool? Anyway who are you to talk. You've been getting too close to fringe towns all over Regional Victoria. What about the Mornington Peninsula? You two are so close, you are almost together!
Look, I don't think this thing with Sydney is real. But what it showed me is that you are not the only place in the country with great lifestyle options. Sure she's out of my league, and two times more expensive! Running away to her won't solve anything. I know that. But I also know you and I need a break. I would hope things between us could change and go back to how they were in the early days. But I'm not sure. I mean look at us...I'm still basically sleeping on your couch!
I do love you. I don't want this to end. But that's not my choice...
As Beyonce once sang "If you like it, then you should have been more affordable for young families".