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The Archive of posts

Old posts from the original Blackframes site

>I'm touched...

Lach Ryan

We regularly service many things- cars,coffee machines,bikes,racing falcons etc so why is that most people neglect their only vessel through this life (Segways dont count!) our body. The muscles that hold it all together get pummeled,pulled, pushed and pounded. Whilst this may sound sickening or sexy, depending on your disposition, the reality is we all need to un-knot our spots. This process is commonly known as Massage.

Being a strong subscriber to the theory that we should regularly service our body, I try and get a full adjustment every 3-6 months. Only recently, lying on the table at my local, did the peculiarities of this practice dawn on me. Perhaps, I started to see why some find the idea of a massage as appealing as a naked excursion of the senior citizens club to the anti-gravity tank.
In no particular order my mind wandered across the following...
  • Surely the average giver of massage is also a highly qualified expert in the latest trends in underwear. From the hipsters of Hipsters, to the the g-strings of gangsters, the briefs of the Boxer to the bloomers of Betty's they would have seen and known it all. Marketing departments of underwear labels could do worse than talking to these guys.
  • What music is relaxing to some, is not relaxing to others. Listening to 'Natalie Furtado' on a Saturday morning does nothing for me. Following it up with tracks by 'Live' suggest that the 90's was both a relaxing era and taste defining. It would also explain your happy pants.
  • Nails must be cut. Why is that male massage therapists have great, long nails anyway?
  • The more 'O''sin the title of your stream of massage, the better you will likely to be. I'm looking at your Osteopaths!
  • Once you have had a massage in Thailand, you will never be able to enjoy a home country one again. This is for a variety of reasons. Its just a fact they will never be as cheap as in Bangkok. But the added financial cost should provide the security that you wont be touched inappropriately against your will. Although the fact that you probably once were touched in such a way will ensure you never again can quite get the relax in relaxation massage!
But if you are due for a service...go here