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The Archive of posts

Old posts from the original Blackframes site

Annoying. Fake. Zoe.

Lach Ryan

If you live in Australia or have a passing interest in the nations Television commercials (or TVC's if you work in the industry), you would have seen the latest spot from Australian Unity. This campaign feature's a blogger named Zoe who seems to constantly find new ways to plug insurance products whilst going about her daily life. Not since the hirsute presenters of Advanced Hair Studio, has an advertising campaign irritated me so much!

Dear Zoe
I despise you. I care not for your clunky segues or your incessant pushing of health insurance products into completely unrelated life situations. I too do not like waiting for public transport; but what the hell does that have to do with claiming on dental? Your blog claims to document your little adventures, but as far as I can tell for you this means leaving the house! Going to the shops, a park or your parents house does not make you an Dick Smith!
The style of writing you employ is second only in the annoyance scale to your smarmy smirk. Top that of with general gingerness, and the package is quite draining on the eyes. Why you think we need a VO to accompany your scrolling blog entry is beyond me! The writing is so simple that even a non- English speaking child with mild brain damage and who was raised by circus performers could understand it. Maybe I should try it...
Zoe. You seem quite lonely. 30 something. Successful. Yet deeply lonely.
Cold empty house. Tuna for dinner. For you and the cat. Meow.
Mum is you BFF. All your other friends are married. Or don’t talk to you. Facebook.
Like Steve. The Financial Planner. He didn’t plan on staying with you for the long term huh? RSVP.
Probably shouldn’t have got that tattoo. Especially down there. Oops. Regrets.
That’s Ok. Australian Unity’s Life insurance allows you to nominate Pets as executors of your will.
Lucky. Simple. Sad.
PS_ why are you are red head and your Mum and Dad Brunette? One can only assume you are adopted Zoe- Your whole life is a lie.